Dreams

It was a week after the Rocky Raccoon race. I was still limping, but I didn't need crutches or a wheelchair anymore. I was icing my leg in the car while my wife was driving. Miley Cyrus was singing "The Climb" on the radio, and I uncontrollably broke down and cried in a torrent of emotion. The words struck a chord in my heart. Every word and every line of that song rang true. I hugged my wife, with tears streaming down my face. It was an intense moment.

 I had been dreaming about being a 100 mile runner since 2009, when I read Born to Run, and even met Caballo Blanco (aka Micah True), at a local running store. I was inspired by Scott Jurek, who found his calling in the ultra world. I was a slow poke in the old high school cross country world. Still, my teammates and coach cheered for me and believed in me. It inspired me to work harder to improve. After my first year of cross country, my coach gave me the "Most Improved Player" trophy. It was one of the proudest moments in my life. I improved as a runner, but was still firmly entrenched in the back of the pack when it came to cross country. When I read Born to Run a light switch turned on in my head. Maybe I was born to run longer, instead of faster. A seed was planted and a dream was born.

When you're faced with big race, its funny how you reflect on everything in your life.  It's almost as if you are facing death itself, and preparing for the end. So many thoughts and emotions course through your mind. My first 100 mile attempt in 2010 injected a dose of reality and fear into my heart. It was my first DNF (did not finish) at any distance, and it haunted me. In 2012, my big goal was to run the Miwok 100K. I had a really good training cycle, with lots of elevation gain and trail miles. I came in confident and prepared. But in the end, my body failed me, and I received another heart breaking DNF. The race dropped me in a running funk. I signed up for Rocky Raccoon in an attempt to break that funk and restore my faith in running.

Then in November, I sprained my ankle after a mere 5 miles into the race at the Quad Dipsea (a 28 mile trail race with a ton of elevation gain). It derailed my 100 mile training, and dropped me back in a funk.  And to make matters worse, me and my wife were experiencing a funk in our marriage too. She took off her wedding ring and put it away. I was heart broken. I stopped running. I focused on our marriage. My wife and kids are my top priority, and I was ready to quit running, if it made them happy. After two months of the "doghouse", I mended the fences in our marriage right before Christmas. We were a happy couple again, and I hope we stay that way. Forever. Marriage is a lot of work! Its about making each other feel loved every day. I think I failed to love and appreciate my wife, in simple, everyday ways. Life can be crazy with kids and work and training, but where there is a will, there is always a way. 

Finishing the Rocky Raccoon race was euphoric. I ran more in the last 34 miles than I did in the first 66 miles. I came back from the dead, and found pure joy in running. It broke me out of a funk and set me on a cloud. And the love and support from my wife has been amazing too. I think its too soon to tell her that I want to run 100 milers faster and better trained though. And thank you, my friends, who believed in me, cheered for me, and supported me through this crazy dream.

Don't be afraid to dream big dreams. Believe in yourself, follow your heart, and don't give up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -- Wayne Gretsky

2013 Rocky Raccoon 100 Mile Race Report

100 Mile Races are more than just physical tests of the human body. I've heard that you can run 50 miles with your body, but the next 50 must be run with your mind.  Great amounts of pain and suffering are inevitable and if you want to finish, you must forge a "no quit" attitude. I came into this race more under trained than I have ever been for any of my ultra races. I hadn't logged a long run in three months, and the past three months were spent mostly with tennis and a few short runs. The plan was fairly simple: walk early and walk often. Run the downhills, stay positive, and enjoy everything - one moment at a time.

Miles 1-20: In the early miles, I kept my pace around 15 minutes per mile.  My goal was to finish the 20 mile in 5 hours. I only ran the downhill portions and made sure to take it as easy as possible.  I started with my friends Jessica, Kynan, and Laura, but I let them go on after about half a mile in. It was very tempting to run more. "Patience" became my mantra. Patience is magic.  Patience is a virtue. Practice patience. Be patient. I had to keep reminding myself to conserve my energy and save my running for later. The REAL race for me starts at 50, partly because I had never run past 50 in my life. The first 20 was done in a blur. It was my fastest lap, done in around 4:56 (including the few minutes I spent at the aid station and my drop bags).

Miles 20-40: I continued reciting my "patience" mantra here. Patience can be magic. Continue to conserve. I met a new friend during this lap.  She was running the 50 mile race and her pace was comparable to mine so we stuck together. We enjoyed each others' company and the miles melted away quickly. But eventually we had to part ways. I've met so many good people during my races. Patricia Crespi, from Colorado finished her first 50 Miler in 12:56! It was also during this loop that I chatted with a 71 year old runner who had finished 14 other 100-Mile races. I dubbed him the "Master" and tried to hang with him for a while. Even though we were run/walking at a 15 minute pace, he was predicting a 29 hour finish (15 minutes per mile times 100 equals a 25 hour finish).  I was a bit shocked that he would suggest we'd slow down that drastically! Slowing down at night makes sense, but I still had secret hopes of a 28 hour finish.

It was around the 36 mile mark that I developed a bloody nose. A ran with it for a short while, hoping that it would stop on its own, but it just kept bleeding. The older gentleman gave me some tissue and I was able to plug my nose and stop the bleeding. It probably looked bad, with blood all over the place, but it felt fine. I finished the 2nd 20 mile loop in 5:14. I spent 10 minutes at the aid station here, to change my socks and to refuel. It was at this time that I asked Brian if he had any pacing duties and if he could pace me for the 4th lap.  I told him I should be back in about 5 and a half hours - at least that was the plan!

Miles  40-60: I started this Loop with Justin (one of Gary's friends from work) who was on a quest for his first 50 Mile finish. I walked and ran with Justin for a couple miles and learned about how he lost a ridiculous amount of weight and turned his life around through running. He had an inspiring story! He had already logged over 33 miles at this point and he was clearly a bit tired. I did what I could to cheer him up and gave him some tips finish strong. And he did great! He finished his first 50 mile race later in the night. 

When you're going to be running/walking for a long, long time, it helps to talk to people and make new friends. Motivate each other, inspire one another, and it all makes the experience more positive and worthwhile.  I crossed the 50 Mile mark at 13:04.  The real race had begun. I was in uncharted waters from this point on.  I had never run/walk past 50 miles - ever. I had completed 5 50-mile races, but all those races left me beaten and battered.  Here, after completing 50 miles, I had 50 miles to go, and most of it would have to be done in the dark.

This is where I met Joel Ignacio, from Austin, who quickly became a very good friend. We got along right from the start. We ran together and talked about our lives. His Dad has cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. He told his Dad very definitively that he was going to finish this race and get that belt buckle. Joel was clearly a man on a mission. When we got back to the start/finish line area, I offered Joel one of my Starbucks Expresso cans, and I asked him if he wanted to stick with me and Brian for the next loop. Brian could help pace us both through what I suspected would be the toughest loop of the race (and it was).

Miles 60-80: It didn't take long for me to completely unravel during this loop. By the 4th mile, I was struggling to keep up with Brian and Joel. My left leg had begun to hurt. The shin was hurting (probably because I kicked a million roots with that foot!) and then my left knee started to join the pain party! To make matters worse, a 22 minute/mile pace felt difficult! The positivity that had been my strength all day quickly evaporated. I was scared. I told Brian and Joel to go on without me. I was holding them back, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted Brian to jump off my sinking ship and pace Joel for the rest of the 20 mile loop. Neither of them left my side.

I hobbled the next 2 miles into the next aid station, ready to quit. I saw no chance for me. I was dead as far as the race was concerned. And fittingly, the aid station at mile 66 was named Dam Nation. My bib number was 66. It felt as though I was predestined to "die" here! I was sure of it! I sat down, took two advil and rested. A trail angel offered some Tiger Balm, which I gladly tried, massaging it into my ailing left shin. The next 6 mile trail section scared me. If I ended up walking at 22-25 minute pace, it could take 2.5 hours to get through to the next aid station! I tried telling Brian to head back on his own and that I didn't want to subject him to this slow slog through the woods. Brian stuck with me. I was at least able to convince Joel to move on without me. I sat for a while, not knowing what to do. I ate some more soup and warmed up next to a heater. When I realized that Brian wasn't going anywhere without me, I decided to give the race another shot.

It was amazing what happened next. Since walking hurt so much, I decided to stretch out my legs and try some faster running. AND IT FELT AWESOME! It didn't hurt! It was as if someone gave me fresh new legs to play with! So I went for broke and let my body go. Roots and rocks be damned. I had nothing left to lose. It was no longer a time to be patient and conservative. It was time to spread my wings and fly. I had risen from the dead, and found some shiny new wheels. I blasted through the next 6 miles with reckless abandon. I would stop for short stretches to catch my breath, but then I would continue. I imagined it was a simple 6 mile run through the woods.  And in a 6 mile run, you run - you don't walk. Brian was enjoying it too, which filled my heart with joy. I don't know how fast we were going, but the pace felt like 8-9 minute minutes/mile at times. It doesn't even matter how fast I was really going. It felt like I was FLYING!


We got to the next aid station and I was still in shock and awe that I was able to come back from the dead. I was hypothesizing that my fast twitch muscles had been dormant all day and finally got a chance to be put in play.  But could it last? I sat down to figure things out. It was risky to sit down while I was on a roll, but I needed a moment to calm down and figure out what to do next. I didn't think this break-neck pace could continue, but I was planning to ride it out as far as it would take me. So after a short break and a cup of soup, we moved on and continued running like a pack of wolves was chasing us. At 76 miles, we caught up to Joel again. We were somewhat surprised that it took so long to catch up to him! He told us he was running scared, like he was in danger of missing the cutoff.  Joel ran with us the rest of the way, even though he had trouble keeping up at times. We came into mile 80 at around 22:25 (4:25AM). My Garmin had died after about 16 hours. Brian's Garmin was fresh though, and it showed that we finished this lap in 6 hours flat.





I got to see two sunrises in the course of one race. The sights and sounds we experienced were breathtaking. Normally, I would have a camera to document the myriad of sights, but I chose not to bring one along to focus on the race. These pictures were borrowed from other people at the race. Most are courtesy of Matt Hagen, who took some fantastic pictures!

Miles 80-100. Psychologically, I was a changed person. I was stronger. And I was confident that I could beat the pain. All I needed to do was take one aid station at a time, and just run as much as I could. So I ran. And I ran. And I ran some more. Walking didn't hurt as much anymore, but it was still very slow compared to the run.  I really enjoyed the last 20 miles. I didn't feel rushed. And when the sun came up, it gave me even more strength and positivity. With a couple miles to go, Joel caught up to me. He had turned his ankle somewhere in the last loop and was using a big stick as a cane, but was still moving very well. I walked with him, and told him that we should finish together. As long as the race was, I was kind of sad to see it end. Joel insisted that I run it in strong. With a quarter of a mile to go, I was greeted by my good friends Brian and Jennifer. I felt so happy and blessed. These friends, old and new, were cheering me in. So I was inspired to run it in with everything I had left. Again, I went for broke. I started to speed up and I kept speeding up until I was sprinting at full speed, as though I was running the mile relay in high school. The finish was so sweet. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, and I had come back from the dead to finish strong. I was so happy. I was a 100-mile finisher. It was euphoric, and having friends there to cheer me in made it so much sweeter. My dreams of finishing a 100 Mile race came true.

Here is link to the video of my finish, thanks to Linnea!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f1O_fz9Zx0&feature=youtu.be

I finished in 198th place out of 229 finishers (there were 340 starters), with an official time of 29:01:50 - an automatic PR!


Other Notes:
I ran in my La Sportiva Crosslites for the entire race. I took 10 servings of Vespa, one every 3 hours.
I also drank 6 bottles of chocolate Pediasure, one every 20 miles. During the day I ate cheese tortillas and drank coke at the aid stations. At night I mainly took chicken noodle soup. I also drank 3 cans of Starbucks Expresso to stay awake at night.

I was really proud of Jessica, who finished her first 100 miler! I was also super proud of Jennifer who finished her first 50-mile race and found out later that she had bronchitis! I wish she could have done her first 50 mile race where she wasn't a bit overshadowed by 100 mile racers! 50 miles is a big deal! And Linnea, who came into this 50-mile race under trained did fantastic for her 2nd 50-mile finish! I also have to thank Brian for saving my race and coming in to pace me for 20 miles on short notice. He was nothing short of amazing. I also want to thank Gary and Mo for being there to cheer us all on.  I met Gary on the Runner's World Loop, and this was the first time I had ever met him in person. I am honored to have him and Mo (his lovely, and superbly talented wife) as friends. And I am super proud of Laura and Kynan, one of the nicest ultra running couples you will ever meet. They finished 80 miles though all kinds of pain.

Thank you all for your support and kindness.  I know its too early to be talking about Rocky Raccoon 2014, but I've been thinking... Would you consider joining us for a little run in Texas next year?

Pre-Rocky Raccoon Race Report

I am struggling to write my Rocky Raccoon Race report. So much happened! I met so many amazing people!

My flight got into Houston at 7:15PM, and I went to the wrong hotel, thinking that Brian was staying at the same hotel as Laura and Kynan! I felt so bad calling Kynan and waking him up at 10:00PM! He was sleeping! I am such a terrible friend! Sighs... Luckily, Brian was at the hotel right next to the Holiday Inn, at the Day’s Inn.  I finally got to meet “Sass” for the first time!  And there was a sofa bed, so I didn’t even have to sleep on the floor! After chatting for about 45 minutes, we decided to get some sleep. After all, we’d have to get up at 4am! 

In the weeks leading up to this race, I seriously considered dropping down to the 50-miler. I was under trained. My last long run was the Morgan Hill Marathon on October 30^th. I was scared as hell of that 100 mile distance. I had never run past 50. Ever. And the past year had been a crummy year of running for me. I haven’t even been on the Loop much lately.  So what chance did I have of finishing 100 miles? Everything would have to be perfect, and even then, I would probably need a miracle (and a stretcher) to deliver me to that finish line.

Linnea posted to Facebook that she was under trained and didn’t know what to do either. I responded with: 

“I'm struggling with the decision to drop to the 50 myself... I haven't been running much since my sprained ankle at the quad dipsea. These decisions are tough. But you have to listen to your own heart. Forget about what anyone else might think and do what makes you happiest. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.”

And it was in that moment that I knew what I had to do. My heart wanted to be shooting for that 100 Mile finish. I’ve been dreaming of finishing 100 mile races since I picked up that Born to Run book over three years ago.  

So there I was, on the stage of my dreams. And it was AWESOME! Mostly. It was everything I hoped it would be and more.

And now, I don’t know how to put it all into a race report. Garbanzo’s video interviews and race report was great! But it still left some things unsaid.  So if you haven’t read Garbanzo’s report, that’s a great place to start!

http://ilikemargarine.com/2013/02/03/the-rocky-chronicles/

I don’t know when I’ll be done with my race report. I have a draft done, but it still needs a lot of work! Stay tuned! 

Here I am after the finish, looking deliriously happy, with goofy grin...

Quad Dipsea - My short-lived race...

I wish I could write about how wonderful and epic my first Quad Dipsea turned out. But I can't. Because my first Quad Dipsea turned out to be pathetically short lived. The first 5 miles were great! I was hanging out with some wonderful people like Laura and Kynan, Rick Gaston, and Jennifer Lopez (AKA J-Lo). The weather and the scenery was picture perfect.  Life was good. I was happy. And then it happened.  I was running downhill very well when I stepped on some uneven dirt and turned my right ankle rather violently. I crumpled down in a heap of pain and pulled myself to the side of the trail. I sat there for a long while, not sure what to do. I eventually got up and hobbled along. I took two Advil, but still could not run. I could walk with a limp, but the uneven surface made things very difficult. If there were 10 miles left in the race, I would have been tempted to hobble my way to a finish, but there were 22 miles to go and a ton of stairs. I wanted to cry in frustration! But I didn't. I got a ride back to the finish line and got to cheer in the first 3 runners. They had some delicious pizza at the finish line! They were making it right there from scratch! I wish I could have stayed to cheer in more runners, especially my friends, but I decided to go home to my family and kids.

Bad things can happen in every facet of our lives and in our races.  We can take them with sorrowful tears or we can take them with a positive attitude and a touch of defiance. There will always be some disappointment, but we have to move on and always look forward. I was happy for J-Lo, Rick, Laura and Kynan for their fabulous finishes. I was a little envious that they got to spend their day rocking those beautiful trails! This little sprained ankle is a minor injury and I'll be back to running in no time.

I am still a very lucky and blessed person this holiday season. Thank you all for your support and kindness.

Morgan Hill Marathon 2012 Race Report

I have not run a road marathon in nearly 3 years. After reading numerous race reports from friends, I could not help but feel some "marathon envy"! I found that the race reports that contained a lot of suffering and hardship were even more inspiring than the flawless PR runs. Deep down, perhaps I knew that I would suffer just as greatly and that I would have to "embrace the suck" myself.  Feeling inspired, I signed up for the Morgan Hill Marathon.

My training was less than ideal with all the family problems we have been dealing with in the past few months (long story with my brother and mother-in-law, who both spent time in the hospital). And to top it all off, I came down with a cold a couple days before the race, complete with a cough and congestion. My plan was to run in costume as the Green Lantern, and no cold was going to stop me.



I started with the 3:40 pace group and really enjoyed their company. I thought I might be going too fast, but I figured I could bank some time and still squeeze in before the 4 hour pace group.  I walked through all the aid stations and had a blast.  Everywhere I went runners and volunteers cheered me on or told me how cool my costume was.  I felt like a celebrity! After 12 miles my Green Lantern symbol on my chest fell off. Double sided tape apparently loses its stickiness on sweaty fabric! Doh! After that people could not tell which super hero I was! It was a toss up between the Green Hornet and the Green Lantern!



I passed the half marathon point on my Garmin around 1:52, but I was starting to slow down. It was hilly and it was getting warm. The wheels started coming off after 17 miles. Everything seemed to hurt and my energy was feeling very low. I began to make small deals with myself. Run to that tree, then you can walk. Walk to that cone, then start running again. And when I walked, I walked briskly and "with purpose". "Run till it gets too hard. Walk till it gets too easy." I was suffering, but I was still having fun. I cheered on my fellow runners and thanked those that cheered me on. When I was alone I recited the Green Lantern creed. "In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power... Green Lantern's Light!" Of course, I could use a green lantern charging station right about then! After around 20 miles, I saw a man sprawled out on the concrete. There were cops and a crowd of people surrounding him. I knew there was nothing I could do to help and I could hear an ambulance in the distance.  I later found out that he was the 3:55 pacer and that he wound up in the hospital. Be careful out there! Hydrate well and listen to your body when you run your marathons!



The final miles were a bit painful, but I finally passed the finish line in 4:07:22. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't get a sub-4, but I also knew that with some better training, I'd crush a sub-4 marathon, even in tough conditions. My wife and kids were there to cheer me on at the finish line! But I was in such a daze, that all I wanted was to lay down in the grass under a tree. I was toast! The ending to the race was less than ideal, but I had a blast running my third marathon, as the Green Lantern!

The race photographers took a lot of pictures of me during the race, but I did not like them enough to shell out so much money for them.

Stevens Creek 50K Race Report - 2012 edition

The Stevens Creek 50K took place on September 8th, and I am very late with this race report. Part of me wants to forget that it ever happened. It was slow. Really slow. My slowest 50K. Ever.

I ran out of Vespa, my performance enhancing "supplement" so I had none for this race. Consequently, my energy levels dropped dangerously low after about 15 miles. Apparently, I have trouble fueling normally at the aid stations! One of the highlights of my day was meeting a new friend.  His name was Mike, and like me, he is one of 6 kids.  And his Mom was also running in the race! I thought that was very cool.

I turned/sprained my ankle after 16-17 miles.  I don't know exactly at what point I sprained my ankle, because I wasn't wearing a watch (my Garmin's battery was dead long before the race even started). So in addition to an empty gas tank, I now had a flat tire!

And to make things even more interesting, I made a wrong turn shortly after the sprained ankle, adding 2-3 extra miles (very rough estimate)!

By now I'm in either last place or next to last place. I kept trudging along and I was very tempted to just drop from the race at the next aid station (which happens to be the start/finish line area). After eating and drinking a little, I felt re-energized and got back out there to the last 11.5 mile loop, which I know is the most exposed part of the course (very warm).

I moved relatively well for the first few miles, but then everything seemed to slow down again. My energy levels dropped again, along with my pace. I started to take sitting breaks, which I rarely do in any of my races. None of my muscles were cramping, which I found a bit strange. I knew it was fatigue and lack of energy that plagued me. I was planning on just dropping at the 25 Mile aid station at this point.  I did not want to suffer through another 6-7 miles of this suckfest. And then somehow I made another wrong turn, and missed the aid station! I probably cut off 2 miles from the course!

A runner named Sabrina caught up to me and passed me. She saw that I was struggling and told me a deliberate lie.  She told me that we only had 3 miles to go, when she knew we had at least 6. It worked. It injected a little life back into my run, and I tried to keep up with her.  I even passed her after a few miles.

I finally finished after 8 hours and 39 minutes. I told the Race Director to disqualify me for the wrong turn, but he refused.  I had added a few miles earlier in the race, so I didn't feel too bad at accepting the finish.

Out there in my times of misery I thought about my running friends who inspired me to keep going. I thought of Megan, who lost her Mom, and then went on to finish her first Ultra. I needed to "dig deep for Mom" like she did. And I thought about Keeley who is about to attempt her first Ultra in a few weeks. I want her to believe in herself and to forge a no-quit attitude. So I couldn't quit there! And to anyone out there who is tempted to quit midway through a race (or even before the race has started), believe in yourself, damnit! Dig deep, and banish that mental weakness that threatens to uproot your goals and your dreams. Don't make any lame excuses like "I'm tired" or "I sprained my ankle" (especially if you're not limping)!

 

Other notes:
I've been icing my ankle almost every day. And I think I'm finally able to run on it. It is still a little swollen and tender, but I think it'll be at least 95 percent healed by next week.  I am considering a road marathon for my next race (the Morgan Hill Marathon, on October 28th). If I do run it, I think I'll run it in a Green Lantern Costume, just for fun.
 
And while driving home I threw up all over myself. I blame the carbonated root beer. After a hot shower, I curled up in the fetal position and passed out in bed. 

Cool Moon 12-hour Race Report

The race starts at 7pm and finishes at 7am. You run around a 10 mile trail loop as many times as you can. The one that runs the furthest wins.  Sounds simple enough, right? What could possibly go wrong? The 10 mile course is supposed to be very well marked. And there are glow sticks out there at night to mark the trail, in addition to the pink ribbons. Of course, I took a wrong turn, not once, but twice.

We start off running with plenty of daylight with overcast skies and a slight chance of rain. The first loop was a lot of fun! There were only 16 of us running the 12-hour night run, and there were 20 100-miler runners out on the same course. I finished the first 10-mile loop in 1:58:xx, which was probably too fast. It was hard not to get a little competitive in such a small field. I was the 4th man (and 6th overall) after the first loop!


The second loop was a nightmare. And it fittingly became a dark and stormy night! Did I mention that my bib number was 966? (way too close to a bad luck number I really don't like) All my bad luck seemed to hit me all at once during this loop.
 
I met a100 mile runner named Steve just one mile into this loop. He had just fallen and was having trouble seeing.  He was heading back to the starting line to quit, clearly shaken and disoriented. I played the part of a good Samaritan and offered my pacing services for this loop, hoping to jump start his race. He agreed, and we were on our way, with me in the lead.


It was not long after we start running together when I miss a turn and lead us both astray. Instead of making a hairpin U-turn, I went straight. We went off course for a full 2 miles before we turn around.  During these 2 miles, Steve is convinced that someone had maliciously removed the course marking ribbons and glow sticks. Eventually, there are enough signs that lead us to the conclusion that we are off course. We actually ended up on the Tevis Cup horse race course! (the race that the Western States 100 miler originally followed)!

We trudged back at a very slow hike, and by the time we made it back to our race course Steve was out of water and done. We parted ways in opposite directions, and I continued with my own race (with 4 slow bonus miles). I had gone a total of 15 miles, and I had 9 more miles to go to finish my 2nd loop! This was very demoralizing. And to make matters worse, lightning, thunder and rain made their unwelcome appearance. The next 9 miles were quite miserable. The only highlights came with human contact at the aid station and the occasional 100 mile runner sighting. It felt really lonely out there and the lightning made me nervous. I passed a 66-year old runner who was running his first 100-mile race. He was only on his 4th loop after over 18 hours! He suffered during the daytime heat and was traveling very slow, but his voice was strong and his faith in God was clearly unwavering. I wanted to walk beside him for a while, but he moved over for me to pass, and cheered me on! What a trooper!

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. [Psalm 23:4]"

 This quote from the Bible came to mind a lot during this miserable loop. My greatest adversary during this loop was my own negativity. Thoughts of quitting (I even thought about quitting ultras) after this loop were very strong. But how could I quit, when this 66-year old gentleman was out there fighting for a finish! I finally pulled into the aid station/start/finish and sat down. I was afraid of going back out into the darkness. I dreaded a slow slog through that "valley of the shadow of death". If I could run well, things wouldn't be so bad.

 Steve was sitting at the aid station too. And he was trying to convince me to get out there and continue my race. I felt like a whiny baby. Steve offered me one of his Starbucks Frappacinos, which I eventually accepted. And then Rosa came into the aid station, having finished 30 miles for just the second time ever. Her headlamp was low on batteries. She had fresh batteries in her other drop bag at the next aid station, but needed help getting there. Once again, I offer my pacing services. This time however, I'm pacing a faster runner, and I have no idea if I can keep up. I also remember that I have two untouched servings of Vespa in my drop bag. I had not taken any early on because two servings would only last me 6 hours and I did not want to crash halfway into my race! After the coffee and a serving of Vespa, I felt rejuvenated and refreshed.


Me and Rosa head out of the aid station at 1:41am. All of a sudden, I'm running well again and I'm really enjoying the company and the conversation. Rosa's headlamp had turned off a few times and the dark trails really "creeped her out". She was very thankful to have me along, lighting the way with my little flash light. And I was thankful to have her along, a new friend, who clearly loves running just as much as I do. And then, I do it again. I missed the same turn as I did with Steve in the second loop. Disaster strikes again! But this time, we lose only a mile. It still costs us around 16 minutes. I am pretty embarrassed to have made the same mistake again, but we brush it off as if it didn't happen. The miles fly by. Rosa picks up some fresh batteries at the next aid station and we continue on together. We were making a great team! And two lights are definitely better than one. By now the clouds had parted and a bright moon had emerged along with a complementing sky full of stars. The night sky and the trails had transformed again, along with my attitude and good fortune.

We ran well together, and we talked about our kids and the things that inspire us. Lost in conversation and the nice running rhythm, we even ran up some of the hills that I would typically hike up. We finally pulled into the aid station/finish at 4:25am.





Rosa was ready to chase that final lap to get her first 50 mile finish, but I was hesitant. I didn't think I could keep up with her anymore. But I knew that I would have to at least try. We headed out again after I got some soup and another serving of Vespa. After about 3 miles, it was clear that I would not be able to keep up with Rosa's solid pace. I told her to continue on without me, to chase that down that 50-mile goal. She waited for me for a moment, and then reluctantly moved on. I was alone again, but I wasn't lonely. Even though I was moving slower than Rosa, I was still moving well. The skies slowly got brighter, and it was a glorious morning. I felt so alive. With three miles to go and an hour left, I simply stopped pushing the pace and just enjoyed a leisurely stroll through nature. I took more pictures. I breathed more deeply.  I even ate some wild blackberries. It was truly a beautiful morning. I ran the last 100 meters into the finish line, at 6:52am. The race director put a snazzy medal around my neck, and I felt pretty good about my race. Rosa had finished her first 50 mile race (+1 bonus mile) at 6:26am. What a great, epic adventure! Epic races have a way of changing you. The person that went into the woods the night before is somehow different from the person that emerged the morning after. After facing such darkness and despair, I felt reborn and I gained faith and strength. I feel stronger, both as a runner and as a person.


Other notes:
I have two headlamps, but could not find either one before driving up to the race (2.75 hour drive). I only had my Fenix Handheld Flashlight, which I had never run with. It worked remarkably well with just two double A batteries for the entire night. Along with my missing headlamps were a few extra servings of Vespa, which would have really helped. I think I may have become a little dependent on the Vespa, which allows me to reduce my caloric intake. Without it, I need to eat a lot more. It almost feels like I'm cheating! And next time, I need to bring my own Frappacinos. The trails were a lot tougher than I originally thought. Each loop has about 1200 feet of elevation gain! And my 5 bonus miles added even more elevation gain/loss!

Being passed by a trio of 12-hour night runners. I didn't mind. I'll bet that they didn't have 5 bonus miles on their legs!

Nature's Aid Station!

Unmanned water station at mile 8.4

There were a few buckets like this anywhere there was a water crossing. They were meant for the 100-mile runners who had run during the day, when temperatures reach 90+ degrees.

A fading glow stick marking the course.

 Me with a goofy smile, happy to be done, and with a cool medal around my neck! I officially finished 40 miles. My Garmin however, shows 44.91 miles in 11 hours and 52 minutes.